So he sitting there

in his eyes he made it plain to see that he could not speak. The look Carol would give. The I want to be able to hear you, just can't look. He looks at me and I can't tell how old he is. He's the perfect age. He's six three and a little. Clean save. So high and tight looking almost bald. he was so handsome. For the first time I really saw why everyone looked when he came in a room. He was also naturally disarming. Always first to say hello. Always reaching out a hand of introduction or of telling another's story.

He looks me in the eye, reaches out and touches my forehead with his forefinger and smiles. I remember our battle-royal the dream before, the one when I caved my head in giving him a flying head-butt to his face. I reach for my face and it is fine and we laugh. He helps me off the ground. We're heading off the field. He beckons to follow. He turns and walks a brisk pace. I struggle to follow. Up the trail he goes, he wants to show me something. He walks so fast, the trail is so steep, but he slows at the the top so I can ketch up.

I'm at that at top of the mountain and winded at 14,000 feet, asthma attack kinda winded and I see he has made the last switchback, He's bent over hands on knees, sucking wind, blue lipped, hypoxic. he looks cold, but unconcerned. He waves me past. He's waving through the switchback. He wants me to keep going, just a little more to the top.

I stop. I will not leave him like this. I stop. He turns and walks back at stiff brisk descent walk. I look toward the peak. What was up there did not matter. He is what mattered. I struggle to follow. He was swift and the trail fell away steep and deep. We hiked to the very bottom of the mountain and through the foothills and into my little neighborhood onto Paradise Corner court and right up to my front door. Home. My dad standing right here on my front step. Ringing the doorbell. Dogs a barking. Kids a screaming. Hugs. Laughter. Smiles. He's at my front door. Been there the whole time. The doorbell rings. I wake up. In the dark. First to wake up. Again. Time to start the day.